Had an email from Mal Jenkins asking me about my old post about Clarkson and myself racing at the track.
After my car was torched, I bought myself an RX7, so have not been around IMOC as much.Anyway, I'll let the younger version of me tell the tale.
..it was a dark and stormy night.......well actually, it wasnt:I know this is naughty, but I wanted to pass on the results of a morning worth of racing my MR2 Turbo against Jeremy Clarkson's Mercedes SL55 AMG.
Now on paper the SL55 should murder my little tubby, but then manufacturers lie about timings, use tiny bits of fuel, smaller wheels on windless days etc.
..Patrick at Revision6 slapped a rev 4 3SGTE in my
'98 NA earlier in the year, thus taking me one step closer to completing my MR2 project. I took it to work on Wednesday to show a few of the guys, and happened to arrive at the same time as Clarkson.What can only be described as
'c***s on table' ensued as the SL and MR2 sat idling next to each other at the entrance to the track. Both roofs were off, and the bravado was thick and fast. 'Close to 300bhp and it only weighs a ton' went one way. 'You're close enough to read the word "Kompressor" Frenchie ' went back. The duel was sealed with a heartfelt
'You drive like an OAP JC, I'd mangle that overweight auto over a quarter mile'.Hmmm rash words indeed, and answered with a quick
'you'd better put that plastic roof back on' as Clarkson's metal roof whirred over his head and he disappeared from sight.I whacked the Tbars back in, chucked my bags out of the boot
(not forgetting the steering wheel lock that weighs 5 tonnes) and leapt enthusiastically back into the car. The 1/4 is marked out on the runway of our track, so I crawled after the rumbling SL as we snaked past the safety cones at the entrance to the track. As we headed out onto the straight I caught JC glimpse into his rear mirror just before the SL *exploded* off from 20mph. I thought better of trying to race after him on our way to the start line, so just watched the hazy heat lines mix with dust and exhaust fumes as it roared away, sounding every bit like the Spitfire we likened it to on the programme.Now my MR2 is pretty mechanically standard, rev 4 turbo engine, Fusjitsubo exhaust, apexi filter and running 16psi
- I imagine its a setup a lot of tubbys are stalking the UK streets with. The truth was, I got carried away and picked a fight with a 493bhp, £91,000 Merc supercar. And I was preparing myself to be monstered.As with any car lover, my mind was awash with strategy
'he weighs almost 2000kg, and its an auto' 'I can leave the line all spooled up, he'll have to wait for the car to wake up and jump to' 'Our terminal speed is around 100mph, surely I can fend him off till then'
etc etc
We roll up to starting line, one of the team was standing between the cars waving us forward and back until we are fairly squared up.
I look over and Clarkson is smoking a cigarette nonchalantly, he glances back and gives me the finger. Just like the scene in 2 Fast 2 Furious, I jab my little turbo 4 pot - the quick rev, high pitched wvvvaaaapp tissh answered by the SL55's monstrous V8 roaring from the pits of hell, the entire chassis shaking.At least it made him stub out his cigarette.
..I hadn't dragged the MR2 since the new engine went in, and had no proven idea where to dump the clutch at.
I do a bit of racing, and all of the drag racing on the programme - so had some experience. I reckoned 4K would be safe. Windows up
- race starter standing between the cars, hands up
The MR2 didnt let me down, it shot forward like a scolded willy, instantly putting half a car between its nose and the SL's.
My Japanse banzai rocket screaming forward as the arms dropped, while his slumbering German snorted awake and realised it was in a race. Foot hard to the floor, waiting for the rev counter to stop lying to me, telling me its time to change when I know the wheels are still slipping. No dyno results, so no idea when power starts to peter out, best wait till 6900 and grab second. Second slots home.
Amazingly the MR2 stays ahead.
The SL is sitting in my cars blind spot, not moving back but not coming forward either. The SL's previously impressive spitfire noise totally drowned out by the bag of angry king cobra's I now have behind my head - the turbo hissing its full boost for me.I grab third,
70
75mph, the SL is still sitting a half car behind me... 80mph is when it happens, the MR2 is still pulling its heart out but the SL55 finally swats me out of the way.
JC roars past me like I was standing still, I look down - 85 mph. I chase up to 120mph, but the SL is a speck in the distance doing over 160mph.We race four more times, everytime the same
- MR2 kicks the hell out of the SL off the line, we sit together all the way up to 80mph, the the SL tears off - JC flicking me the bird, big grin on his face.I'll spare you the macho bravado that ensued every time we rolled back on to the line, and although over the 1/4 the SL wins
- I'm pleased as a big bag of pleased things that 0-80 the MR2 Turbo beats an SL55 AMG straight line from a standing start. The bet was for the loser to be the winners coffee b1tch, so all day JC was ordering double espressos with a big grin.
My only retort, yours cost 9 times what mine does
Though he had to admit to the guys, 'Those MR2's are f**king quick
'So there you have it
- needless to say I wont be challenging his new GT40 to a drag with my RX7...not until the single turbo conversion is finished 
